A Toll for All

In our lifetime Autism has been termed an epidemic. According to Cecelia McCarton M.D., it’s “actually a family epidemic” (Doheny). When you have an autistic child there is an astronomical effect on family dynamics. The degree of challenges varies depending on the severity of the Autism disorder. For instance my friend, Zach Lauck, has gone to state music competitions playing the saxophone in Southlake Carrol’s band. He has Asberger’s Syndrome which is one of the mildest forms of Autism. He is the youngest of three children and his family looks like any other that attend my church. Families with autistic children look normal, but they must endure struggles beyond what we expect.
The first issue affecting the family has to do with parental expectations. Patricia Wright, an expert on family relations says, “After a diagnosis of autism, parents’ expectations change” (Doheny). Experts tell us that many parents naturally expect their child to go to college or to pursue a career and when they have to consider these things not happening there is a real sense of loss. All the financial and social pressures of raising an autistic child along with the time for doctors’ appointments and therapies place a major strain on a marriage. There has even been an “urban legend” statistic claiming that “parents of children with autism have an 80 percent divorce rate” (Shute). U.S. News Contributor Nancy Shute reports “parents of a child with autism are no more likely to divorce than are parents in unaffected families” (Shute). Mothers often respond to the diagnosis by being “profoundly sad” while “men often retreat into work” (Shute). The sad truth can be avoided if both mother and father make time for each other and learn to be open with their feelings and struggles.
The second family issue is how the autistic child affects his siblings. In a recent study published by the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, researchers found that siblings of autistic children “were better adjusted psychosocially and emotionally than siblings of non-disabled children” (Doheny). It seems that most parents with autistic children understand the intense need to “spend one-on-one time” with their children (Doheney). Often times the siblings take on the role of protector of their autistic sibling and they form a very close bond with each other. However, sometimes siblings do worry about what their friends will think of their autistic sibling when coming to the house for a “first date or sleepover” (Dohoney). Children can be afraid of other kids making fun of their brother or sister with autism and then also have to deal with the guilt for having those feelings.
One area that I had never really considered was the fact that siblings of an autistic child may have worries about having to be the caretaker for their brother or sister later in life. Most of the time our parents will pass away before “we do but our brothers and sisters are present for our whole life” (Evans). Parents need to have an open and honest discussion with their non-autistic children about what their expected role, if any, might be in caring for their sibling (Evans).
There is a lot to be learned about the difficulties of dealing with autistic children and the stress and strain that families must deal with. It would be an invaluable service for teenagers to volunteer to do child care for these families so that parents can get some rest from their demanding routines. Though you may not be personally impacted by autism, don’t be afraid to do your research and help out.

Sources:
Doheny, Kathleen. “Autism and Family Relations.” WebMD. Web. 10 October 2010.


Evans, Rachel. “The Impacts of Autism on the Family.” The Autistic Child. Web. 10 October 2010.


Shute, Nancy. “Autism Doesn’t Doom Parents to Divorce.” U.S. News. Web. 10 October 2010.